Roses in Winhill
by Leila Fireheart
Summary: The story of Raine and Laguna's love...and Raine's tragic death. This is my first Final Fantasy 8 fiction
1. Roses in Winhill

Laguna stood by the church, waiting for Raine's arrival

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or the places in this fanfic, they are entirely the creation of Squaresoft. I also do not own the song, "Roses" by Reba McEntire. 

I listened to the song, "Roses" by Reba McEntire, and realised how much similarity there was to Laguna and Raine's love. It was a fateful misunderstanding that brought Laguna so much pain…

~

Laguna stood by the church, waiting for Raine's arrival. He consulted his watch anxiously, and wondered where she could be, shuffling his feet nervously. This would be his first date with her, and he wanted everything to work out perfectly. 

__

"The soft summer evening, another time another place, 

He brought her red roses on their very first date."

In his hand, he carried a few red roses – he had known Raine loved those particular flowers. Laguna stepped into the middle of the street, the warm summer wind softly teasing his hair. Then, Raine appeared through the mists, like a holy being bringing light. She wore a simple outfit, blue trousers and a long sleeved v-neck top that fitted closely around her figure, but it added to her overall natural beauty. Laguna admired her from a distance, and then walked forward to greet her, careful in his every step to be sure he wouldn't do anything wrong. Raine smiled up at him, shyly averting her eyes as he returned the welcoming. Laguna took his hand from behind his back and presented Raine with the roses, each contrasting perfectly with her smooth skin and her eyes could not hide her true feelings as she gazed at them, spellbound. 

"Thank you." She said, taking them and bending down to breathe in their sweet aroma. 

"I thought you would like them. They're your favourite flowers." Raine was touched by his remark.

"You remembered?" The corners of her mouth curled up slightly as she smoothed back her hair, playing with the white rose she had put in at the back. Laguna took the moment to venture further. He moved forward, so he was less than a metre away from her. 

"I remember a lot of things. About you." Raine let out a soft giggle which made Laguna feel more at ease. 

__

"She got carried away by the things that he said

Time would erase them but she would never forget"

As Raine walked along the riverbank, she began to talk to Laguna, letting her thoughts pour out and thankful she had Laguna. She switched the bouquet of roses from one hand to the other and Laguna was slightly surprised as he felt her warm, graceful hand slip inside his. He squeezed it gently, and stopped when they reached the end of the walkway. Not letting her present get crushed, Laguna set the roses down on a bench, and he took both her hands in his, quietly staring into her innocent eyes. Then, he broke the gaze, and looked off to the distant stars as a million words ran through his head, not one he thought able to match his intense feelings for her. 

"Raine, I know that I have only been in Winhill for a few months, but I – I…" he stammered, searching for the right words. Raine watched as Laguna's head fell, and then she brought it up again with her hand, pushing away the delicate black hairs that fell between his eyes. 

"I understand, Laguna." He blinked once, as if noticing her for the first time. 

"You…do?" Laguna asked. Raine nodded solemnly.

"Just, whatever feelings you have, don't bottle them up. I want to hear you, only you. Tell me what you feel from the heart." 

"It's so hard to say, Raine."

"Think about your writing. You write with a passion, there's always something in your words on paper that comes directly from your soul. Imagine you're writing to me, show me how you feel." Laguna's smile reappeared on his lips as Raine looked up at him expectantly, waiting for his answer. 

"Raine, I have feelings for you. They're stronger than I could ever imagine. Stronger than I have ever felt with anyone else." Laguna sighed as Raine kissed him lightly on the cheek. 

"I feel the same, Laguna." For a while, they stayed silent, each writing their thoughts down in their minds, an eternal memory to be forever with them. 

__

"But the roses heard it all

The rose in her hair

The rose in her hand

The roses in the paper on the wall

There's a story to tell

If roses could talk."

Laguna had been with Raine for three months, and had now arranged for them again to meet in the evening, except this time on the Winhill bluffs. He had been volunteered for the Galbadian army, and had to take his leave in a few days. Until then, these were his last times he was able to spend with Raine, and he wanted to cherish them. As he remembered his military days, Laguna cast his mind back to the Galbadian Hotel, where he would go every day to listen to Julia Heartilly play the piano. 

He liked Julia, he had thought her very attractive and all the competition around him for her had made her very desirable. Of course he had liked Julia, but he loved Raine. Julia was to be desired, to be watched in envy, an object he could never wish to hold. Raine did not have the beauty of Julia, but Laguna felt she had more. He felt that Raine could touch people's hearts in a way no other person was able to do. She looked after people, she was kind and generous, she was elegant, she was honest, and he loved her with so much passion that his heart could not keep in all his feelings at once. That was why he had bought the wedding ring that day.

Laguna held the ring in his palm up to the moonlight, letting it catch the radiance of the thin gold band. 

"Raine…I wonder what she will think? What she will say?" Laguna's thoughts raced through his head, and he panicked, not able to deal with all of them. He didn't notice Raine until he felt a light tap on his shoulder. In his panic, he turned suddenly, keeping the ring behind his back as he had done with the roses on their first date. 

"Laguna? Is there something wrong?" Raine asked, a smile embracing her lips and her inquisitive eyes trying to search through his own. Laguna grew suddenly shy, and felt childish as he fought for a speech, something he should say about why she should love him, more importantly, why he loves her and how much so. Instead, cursing himself for staying silent, he turned away, with a light-hearted farewell. He needed to compose his thoughts again, and maybe write them down so he could memorise them. But yet again, he felt a tap on his shoulder, and his feelings overcame him as his hand unconsciously brought the wedding ring down to her left hand, lightly slipping it on her fourth finger. He said nothing – there were no speeches or words of love. 

Actions speak louder than words.

Raine looked at the ring, and held up her hand, stunned to silence. Very soon, she laughed prettily, and showed her hand to Laguna, now complete with her gold ring. Laguna smiled back and mirrored her gesture by showing her another gold ring on his hand. They said nothing to each other; Raine didn't have to say yes to this wordless proposal. Instead, she fell into Laguna's willing embrace and they held each other tightly, neither wanting to let go. 

The days were passing by, and hours ebbing away, until Laguna would have to take his leave and join the army once again. 

__

"Somewhere close to midnight another time another place

She lays in the darkness with tears on her face…"

In Raine's house, Laguna and Raine slept, quiet in the darkness. The day before, she had decorated the room with white wallpaper, and red rose images bordered the wall. On the bedside table sat a vase with a single pink rose lying nonchalantly by the edge. 

"Julia? Julia…I love…"

The silence was broken every now and then, by a soft murmur followed by hushed sobbing.

__

"While he talks in his sleep, confessing his love

He calls out a name that she's never heard of."

Raine moved to one side of the bed, pulling the covers up around her head as she heard Laguna's words again and again.

"Julia…I love…" Raine's heart broke the moment Laguna called out in his sleep, talking about another girl. Eventually, Raine cried herself to sleep and she slowly drifted into unconsciousness just before Laguna said those words again, but with one more difference. "Julia…I love Raine." 

__

"But the roses heard it all

The rose in the vase

That sat by their bed

The roses in the paper on the wall

There's a story to tell

If roses could talk."

Soon, the day when Laguna had to leave came, and Raine allowed herself a warm smile to leave Laguna with only pleasant thoughts of her when he was gone.

__

"She never told him.

She never let him see her cry."

Raine once again walked into Laguna's warm embrace and he drew in her heavenly scent happily, a tear tracing his cheek as he realised he wouldn't see her for a long time after this. He kissed her rosy lips, and waved a farewell, hoisting his machine gun up onto his shoulder and regretfully walking away into the distance, leaving his love behind. Raine watched him leave, a lump in her throat and a rose in her hand. His last gift to her.

__

"Only the roses know

What she kept deep down inside."

It was on a bitterly cold November morning when Laguna received a letter from Winhill. He opened it, excited to see Raine's beautiful handwriting once again, a salvation for his dreadful time in the army. 

__

"The years took their toll…"

Yet as he ripped the letter from its envelope, he saw it was not Raine's handwriting on the paper. With tear-filled eyes, Laguna read the letter, trying to believe it was not true. 

Dear Laguna Loire, 

Your wife, Raine Leonhart passed away last night in her sleep. No one knows what she died of; it is a mystery to us. Her body is resting peacefully in the Winhill church. Upon reading her will, she has expressed an wish to be buried on the Winhill bluffs the place you proposed, and she wishes her gravestone to read 'Raine Loire.' Your son and stepdaughter are still here, and waiting for your arrival. We have approached the government officials and they have organised for you to take leave for a few days to attend Raine's funeral. 

We are all devastated by the loss; she will be greatly missed by all of us. 

Faithfully, 

Laguna couldn't even bring himself to work out the scratchy signature by the writer of the letter as his shaky hands refused him to hold the letter any longer. It fell onto the floor as Laguna packed his bags, drunk with his eternal love for Raine, and left the room. 

Laguna arrived at Winhill feeling heavy in his heart. Many mourners of Raine greeted him, and Ellone ran up to him, hugging his broad frame and heartily welcoming him back. Laguna swallowed hard and his tears ran down his cheeks in a continual flow. 

"What happened to Raine, uncle Laguna?"

__

"And the angels took her away."

"The angels took her away, Ellone." He said desolately. Ellone furrowed her eyebrows, wondering what he meant, but said nothing and instead let herself get taken into his arms for a heartfelt hug. A friend of Raine approached Laguna, and spoke with tenderness. 

"I am so sorry Laguna. I – I know how much she meant to you." Laguna nodded, unable to speak. 

"C – Can I see my son?" Laguna had known about the child he had with Raine, but had never been able to see it. He had only been able to go by her words and descriptions in letters and phone calls. The friend nodded with acknowledgement and beckoned for him to follow. He ran forward as he saw his son in a cot. He picked him up and held him close. "Squall." He said, running his fingers through his hair, and soaking it with tears. "My son, Squall." The baby cried, and Laguna's heart jumped at the sound, so innocent and dependant. So much like how Raine felt to him. Something to protect. Laguna crushed himself for not being able to do the one thing he wanted to do in his life – protect Raine, his love. He walked out, holding Squall in his tender arms, and Ellone followed him silently down to the Winhill bluffs. 

__

"Now there's family and friends at a cold winter's grave."

The wind rushed through the trees, sighing for the loss of such a beautiful woman. Laguna looked through the crowd of people that had gathered to say goodbye. All of them had tears in their eyes, but not one of them could understand how he felt. Laguna's love for Raine had been like an eternal fire, burning inside him and keeping him going. But now the fire was gone, Laguna's heart ached and he felt weak as Raine's tombstone came into view. 

Raine Loire. 

Raine Loire. 

He wished he could hear her voice again, just one more time. He wanted to hold her and love her.

"I never got to…say good bye." He said, whispering into Squall's hair. He kissed his son's head and picked a rose from the bluffs, a serene garden, walking slowly forward to the stone as the guests grew quiet. 

__

"He kneels down and whispers, you're the only love that I've known…"

Laguna knelt by the stone, staring at the name of his love, for a second thinking it will bring her back. She was gone though; her breath was given to the air and her body to dust. She died so that a new thing may live. He shut his eyes again, thinking how unfair this was. Such a kind person – it wasn't fair for her to go like this, so young. He kissed the rose, comparing its similarities to her, its vulnerability, its helplessness, its fragrance and its beauty. 

"Raine, I have only ever loved you, I wish I could have you back. I want to hold you and chase your worries away. I want to hug you, and kiss you, and make you feel happy like you made me feel." His words came out slowly and steadily, as the young Squall lay wide-eyed and oblivious to what was happening, only watching his father and the curious floods of water that were pouring from his clear eyes. He put down the rose, and stood up, staying there long after the others had gone. 

__

"As he lays a rose on a cold marble stone."

The minutes turned into hours, and Laguna looked down as he felt a shy tug at his sleeve. Ellone looked up with concerned eyes. 

  
"Uncle Laguna, if Raine went with the angels and you're in the army, then who will take care of us?" she pointed to herself and Squall. Laguna's eyes turned back to the baby in his arms, who was just waking from sleep, and noticed he had Raine's dazzling eyes. With a deep breath, he spoke.

"I know a kind lady who will take care of you." He said, pausing for a moment to recollect his thoughts. "Her name is Edea. She looks after a lot of young children. You will like it there." 

__

"But the roses heard it all

The rose from the garden 

The rose in her Bible

The roses in the paper on the wall

There's a story to tell

If roses could talk."

Ellone smiled, happy at this answer. She then reached up and took hold of Squall, who coughed lightly and crossed his eyebrows a little at having been woken up. Then, she left Laguna to his own thoughts, and he kneeled again so he could pick up the rose, the one he thought symbolised Raine so much. He broke down, and cried out loud, trying to break out his emotions as Raine had said on their first date. Such grief engulfed him as he let the tears run freely and he shut himself out to the world around him. 

__

"What a story they'd tell

If roses could talk."

"I love you, Raine." He said, looking at the rose. A breeze ran through the field, and Laguna heard a soothing whisper, 

"I love you too, Laguna." 

~


	2. Roses in Dreams

Laguna lay amongst papers in the bleak silence of his bedroom

Disclaimer:I do not own any of the characters or the places in this fanfic, they are entirely the creation of Squaresoft.I also do not own the song, "Where do I begin?" by Carl Sigman.

I had originally written 'Roses in Winhill' as a stand-alone fanfiction, but seeing as I got such a positive response, I was urged to write the sequel.This story is more about Laguna's thoughts on Raine's death rather than the story-telling theme of the first fic.I only hope you all enjoy it as much as the first one.

~

Laguna lay amongst papers in the bleak silence of his bedroom.It had been a week since Raine had passed away, but he was reluctant to leave Winhill.Standing up, he barely felt his hands reaching for the brass lock of the windowpane.The locals were all concerned about him.He was so different to the cheerful, talkative Laguna they all knew well.Now, he rarely spoke, and there was a dismal air about him when he walked, which suggested all his grief in one movement.As the bolt slid from the lock and the window opened into the night sky, Laguna caught the scent of a rose, wafting into the room like a graceful faerie.Once again he was reminded of Raine, and his heart was crushed by the sorrowful memories.Turning away from the night air, he let the tears prickle under his eyelids and the wind cool his body.

"Raine, where are you?" he asked in a whisper, settling himself down by the desk, which was overflowing with papers.As he gingerly fingered the black fountain pen, he was struck with a thought.Removing a piece of clean white paper from the drawer, he began to write…

_"Where do I begin, _

_To tell the story of how great a love can be,"_

'There once was an unhappy man' he wrote, 'who lived in a world of unfairness and dashed hopes.He worked hard for a living, but had never found true happiness.Then, one day, he met a beautiful faerie, one so pretty that when she smiled the clouds disappeared and the heavens sang…' He put the pen down.He couldn't possibly describe Raine in a sentence.He tried again.'He loved her with so great a passion that no one was able to see his love, without being blinded by its brilliance.'Laguna sighed.

"The sweet love story that is older than the sea," 

'In all of history, never has a man felt so much for a woman.'Laguna faltered.'He…'

"The simple truth about how much she means to me," 

The pen made an inky blot on the page as Laguna gathered his thoughts.The letters seemed to merge and entwine with each other and form a jumbled mess on the page.To Laguna, they signified nothing.The only writings that showed his love now were written in his heart.Yet he was sure there was nothing so elaborate there as in the fairy tale he wrote.It was just a simple truth, clear as the stars in the sky.He idly tossed the paper to the side – no matter how simple it was; he could never write how much she truly meant to him.Leaning back against the cushioned chair, he rested his head between his arms and sat in thought.

"Where do I start?" 

Laguna cast his mind back to the time they first met.His heart had fluttered when he saw her, standing near to the river.It must have been love at first sight, as the moment she turned around he stood there staring at her, drawing in all her beauty.But she had stared back, bolder and more defiant than anyone he knew, and there was something in her eyes, which kept him rooted to the spot, unable to leave or look away.

Raine had been the first to speak, and all at once, his problems ebbed away into the dawn of time.

_"With her first hello,_

_She brought a meaning to this empty world of mine,"_

They both knew, of course, that they would carry on loving each other until they…they would carry on for an eternity.

"My first love and my last love." He said, kissing the single rose that lay in a vase on the bedside table.

_"There'd never be another love, another time_

_She came into my life and made the living fine."_

When they were married, Raine has lifted Laguna's spirits more than he had ever imagined.He thought he would be eternally happy, that their love would last a lifetime.Raine made Laguna feel complete.

"We were like two halves." Said Laguna.Perfectly matched, happy together.A perfect love, and an endless love in his heart.

_"She fills my heart, _

_She fills my heart…"_

Laguna breathed out heavily, and turned his head slightly for one more look at the familiar lights of Winhill outside his window before retreating to his bed.Surprisingly, the instant his head touched the pillow, he fell asleep.As he pulled the sheets up to his chin, Laguna felt another presence with him.Dozing off to the dreamland, he could only count on his imagination to recall Raine back to his thoughts.

_"With so much love,_

_With angel songs,"_

His vision went white, and Laguna arose drearily to find himself in a field of roses.Rising on his elbows, he rubbed his eyes to focus them on an object that was coming closer over the crimson tinged horizon.The breeze in the field was so alive it felt like it was singing, the voice of a cherubim flowing through his ears pleasantly.The person he saw next wasn't short of an angel.In an instant, he rose and ran to hug his love.

"Raine!" he said with overflowing happiness."Raine, my love!"She smiled at him as she had done when he had proposed, and together they shared that moment all over again, locked in their embrace.Laguna once again felt a lump in his throat.He didn't want this moment to ever end.Raine broke the embrace and looked deep into Laguna's blue eyes.

"I'm sorry I had to leave, Laguna." She said sadly, looking down at the pink rose that blossomed between them.Laguna put his hands lightly on both her shoulders.

"It's not your fault Raine.Don't ever apologise.The moments we had together were wonderful, and I want this time to be as beautiful as it was back then."

_"With wild imaginings,_

_She fills my soul…"_

Raine touched Laguna's chest longingly.She pressed her head to it and sighed deeply.

"How are Squall and Ellone?" she inquired.Laguna drew her into his embrace once again. 

"They're fine.Squall is so handsome.His eyes are like yours."Raine laughed gently.

"His manner is like yours." She said sweetly.

_"With so much love_

_That anywhere I go…"_

"Laguna, the roses told me."Laguna furrowed his brows.

"What did they tell you?"She stayed in his arms quietly, and said nothing for a while before speaking out again.

"They told me you never stopped loving me."

_"I'm never lonely _

_With her along."_

Raine smiled again, and looked at Laguna with added urgency, as if she would have to go soon.

"Laguna?" she said, with a hint of sadness in her voice.Laguna looked down at her, smiling."I just want you to know that…even though I'm not around any more, I will still be with you in spirit.Walking beside you, sitting near you.Every day, so you won't be lonely."

"Who can be lonely?" 

Laguna nodded, understanding she would leave him soon in this dream of dreams. 

"As long as I have you in my dreams, I'll never be lonely."The field of roses faded away to blackness, and eventually his vision blurred so that Raine was nothing more than a mixture of colours in his unconsciousness.

_"I reach for her hand_

_It's always there."_

As Laguna awakened slowly from his dream, he turned over to reach out and touch Raine's hand beside him in the bed.His hand sank to the soft mattress, and he looked up suddenly to find a cold, empty space where Raine should have been.He shivered uncontrollably as he felt the sudden loneliness, but then remembered Raine's words to him.Just because she's not there in body, doesn't mean she's not there in spirit.There's a room in his heart he keeps especially for her, and it would always remain a sanctuary for her.Like the serene garden where he found her in his dreams, perhaps that was the place he kept in his heart.Laguna tapped the clock so he could see it clearly.It was half past one.

"I should leave this place." He said to himself.It would spare him all those distressing good byes he had hated the most.Especially from his son and Ellone.He couldn't bear to leave them when they were crying for him to come back.Raine had done the same when he left for the army.She had hugged him, and kissed him good-bye.She had bottled up her emotions, but Laguna had seen through and what he saw shattered the fragile wall of his heart.

Not this time.This time he would leave inconspicuously, so that he would only have happy memories of his son and niece.He would just go up to their rooms to kiss them goodbye, he couldn't leave without seeing their smiling faces one last time.

Quietly, he stole up to their room on the top floor, and crept in to kneel beside Ellone's bed.Touching her hair, he bent over and kissed her forehead, pushing away the brown hairs from her face.Pulling back the covers a little, Laguna caught sight of Squall lying in her arms.He kissed Squall on the cheek, and whispered how much he loved his son, even though he wouldn't be there sometimes, he'd always be thinking of him.Laguna stepped back and took one last look at the sleeping children before retreating to the world outside, his bag packed.He looked sadly at the river edge, the place where he had first met Raine.

_"How long does it last?_

_Can love be measured by the hours in a day?"_

Laguna shook his head at the thought of being able to measure love.Love knew no boundaries; it went to infinity.It wasn't possible to be able to count up the hours he spent with her and make a point of how much love he felt for her from this time.Time didn't matter right now.'True love doesn't fade away', he thought to himself.'This untimely parting of Raine has only made my love for her stronger.'

Laguna took up speed when he saw the moon retreating behind the trees.He just wanted to visit Raine's grave one last time, and then walk to Deling city.He didn't care how long it would take him, or how far the journey was.If he got hungry, love would keep him alive.

"I have no answer now," 

Laguna wept again as the thought of Raine appeared in his memory.He wished he could do something to bring her back.He wished he were able to see her, always.He would have quit the army and gotten a steady work at Winhill if it meant he was able to be with Raine again.They would be a family.

Laguna wondered, as he looked up at the stars what caused God to take away such a beautiful angel.He couldn't possibly provide an answer, his mind kept replaying memories, thoughts of when he was with Raine.

"But this much I can say," 

Laguna set his thoughts back onto setting off to the bluffs before sunlight, and eventually began to think more carefully about their love.He turned into the bluffs, and made for Raine's grave, which glinted in the late evening moonlight.Lying down next to her grave, a load of thoughts jostled for room in his mind, things he could say to Raine about his love for her, but none of them would do his true feelings any justice.He just couldn't put his finger on it.His love, it was so simple a truth, but so simple it was perpetually complicated.So simple no one was able to put it to writing.He could only say one thing…

"I know I'll need her till the stars all burn away," 

"I'll need you Raine, until the stars all burn away." He said, gasping as he said it.The stars twinkled back at him, listening quietly to the young man who lost his love to the earth.He stood for a long time by her grave, stroking the cold marble stone as though it would bring her back.Laguna decisively watched the stars grace the sky, telling him secretly they would watch over Raine.He nodded solemnly, and moved his bag onto his shoulders before walking off to the direction of Deling.

_"And she'll be there."_

Beside Laguna, there was a white light that glowed happily.He looked to the side, and blinked a few times.

"Raine?" he asked unbelievably.Raine looked even more beautiful with the halo she wore and the glowing light that accented her delicate features.She smiled, and put her finger to her lips, hushing him.

"I'll be here.Forever."

From Winhill, a spectator would have seen Laguna walking hand in hand with the white light that had the shape of a woman.When they had walked some distance from Winhill, Laguna set down his bags.

Laguna and Raine kissed and held on to each other so tightly Laguna thought for a moment she had returned for good.And when he broke their embrace, she was gone.However, this time he knew he wasn't alone, and he picked up his bags again, and walked on, surrounded by a peaceful, glowing light…

~


End file.
